Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
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Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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