my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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