he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I AM VODKA MAN
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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