around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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