Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
