Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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