Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
