need another drink. this is the easiest way
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
