I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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