i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
