Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
