WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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