Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.

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(256): View more from Alabama

It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.

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(914): View more from New York

It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.

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(516): View more from New York

I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

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(801): View more from Utah

Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."

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(516): View more from New York

What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?

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(850): View more from Florida

We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch

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