i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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