Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
