And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
