I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
