Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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