Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
