I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
