dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
