I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize