A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
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Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
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He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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