kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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