it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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