Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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