I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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