you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
