hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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