happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
