Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
