that's an acceptable place to lick
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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