I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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