ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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