She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
