The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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