Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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