There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm so fucking centered right now
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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