It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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