Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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