Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
