Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
