whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
