rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Randomize
