proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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