ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My vagina is very pro this idea
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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