I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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