I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
