I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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