I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
