Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
operation have a gay friend backfired
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
