Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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