I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
