Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize