this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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