you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
