please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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