I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
