No awkward lesbian experiences without me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
