now i know why i became what i already was.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
