last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
