my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
