Christians are straight up FREAKS
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
