haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
