My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
