Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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