Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
