hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
